Ifs and buts

All of my mistakes make me find you
And all of them will make me lose you
While all the Gods are laughing at me
At the same time, they're smiling at me with a great sorrow
Knowing where all paths end, there is no joy left in the discovery of the unknown
Knowing the pain of the memories i will leave in all your hearts
Going to learn what is beyond the sky, while leaving the earth and becoming the earth itself
All i hope that for you to percieve your importance one day
It was difficult to see but eventually you will one day
By a chance or a mistake, you were my last love
Unfortunately, i lost you because of my life full of mistakes
I am extremely sad while the truth keeps me beating up
I'm the one who failed us, scared, wounded and beaten

Yine şarkılara mı kaldım / Son yaz

 Tüm yanlışların üstünü çizeceğim
Karanlık gecenin içinde
Yanan alevleri söndürüp
Geceye sığınacağım
Son gün batımında seni ve kalanları yokedip
Zifiri karanlıkta kendimi, anılarımı ve hayatımı yok edeceğim.
...
Yeniye ne gerek
Zamana, aşka ya da güce
Batıp çıkan bir gemi benim ruhum
Hiçbir limana ulaşmayan
Sönmesi gerek artık güneşin
Gece, okyanusların tek hakimiyken
Çöken bulutlar, yok olan galaksilerin içinde yıldızlar
Her hatam gecenin içinde parlarken
Uzaklaşıyorum
Koynuma ölümü alırken
Gidiyorum ve sonunda seninle huzuru buluyorum
...
Yan tüken akıntılarla sürüklen
Var olamayan yok olur
Sevilmeyen sevemez artık
Gecenin karanlığında doğan yaşayamaz artık
...
Karanlığında gecenin
Rüyaların koynunda
Seni aradım, sen sandım yıldızların silüetlerini
Oysa kaybolmuştum göklerin içinde
Hapsolmuştum gecenin kalbinde
...
Çevremdeki her varlık her insan hatta Tanrı bile
Mutlu gördü, umutlu, kendinde
Nihayet her şey yolunda, geçmişin izinden hayallere
Ve sonra, ne kapısı ne penceresi olan bir odada
Sessizlikte huzur bulmuştu kalbimdeki karanlık
Senin yüzünü görüyordum sadece
Tüm hatalarım aklımdaydı
Her döndüğüm yolda yokolan hayallerimle
Baktığım her yüzde kırılan kalbimle
Tek dileğim ölmekti ve isyanım Tanrıya, sana, ona, buna değil
Sadece kendimeydi, sadece yürüyemediğim yollara, sonu çıkmaz sokaklarımaydı
...
Hiçbir şey olmadı
Herhangi bir zamanda
Ne o adada ne o şehirde
Uçarak gittiğim ülkelerde
Sen varken ben yoktum
Ben varken sen kayıp
Geceydi hep uzayan bir gece
Koyulaşan karanlığıyla, keskin sessizliğiyle
İçimi, zihnimi, kalbimi kapladı
Ve ben ölümü seçtim sonunda kazanacak ya da kaybedecek bir şey kalmayınca
...
Yıldızlar söndü
Gözlerinde karanlık
Dumanlar yükselirken yokluğunda
Ateşleri söndürdün varlığınla
Sen ölümüm oldun
Bense kavruldum hiçliğinle

Judge

In the Gods hands it was
In your heart now it is
My destiny
Not like branches of a tree
Exactly like a fork in the road
...
Light of life
Burning far away from me
Building bridges or darkening the night
Love
Like i always idealized is the absolute meaning of life
My great escape, my last shot for staying alive
Lost or won
In a way no one can guess or understand
All hopes or dreams gone, only one remained
The dream
Not willing to wake up from as it is my only way out
Do you believe in miracles because you'll be one

One day at a time

 Forever doesn't work well
Be mine just for today
One day at a time
Without thinking where we are going
...
My eyes is hurting, i am sleepless again
Finding refuge one more time in a room full of intricacy
Hiding behind the curtains nobody should see me
Suspense getting longer
Days not ending nights are darker
The wait
Driving at top speed on a dead end street
I see the lanes like i'm stopped already
The time
Disrupted am i still living?
One second i'm sulking the second one i'm smiling
The decision
Making a u-turn or uniting with the wall ahead
All the scenarios we're in, it looks the same
In all the possibilities, no victories, no defeats there is
Between a yes or no, clear is everything
A new page, a new chapter my last novel will have
Or
Emptying the shelves and donating all my library?
...
Stay or leave
Nobody will know for what i'm waiting
You will never guess what i'm feeling
In this war of everything
I'm the only one forsees what's coming
Looking up the sky, storm is approaching
...
Stay
With no fear, no doubt or disbelief
See with your own eyes
The doors i will seal, the walls i will turn into dust
For the most precious things i can ever have
Your eyes, your voice, the love you seek in your very soul
...
Stay
In a random day while we are not looking
I saw you, you choose me
This can't be our ending
I couldn't leave but i didn't stay
You couldn't give up when you fly far away
...
Stay
Not for me but yourself
In your heart you know who am
A promise always be kept, i am not going anywhere
An oath engraved in every step i take till my last breath
I will follow you, i will find a way to be with you even if you push me away
You'll be the only one can decide to forget, to give up or make "us" a dream we had

War with life in a battle of love

 It's time
To love for the last time
To live for the first time
It's time
To own the streets of the every city
To fly in the skies of the world
...
The only thing i want to see is what you see
Day or night, you're where i want to be
Time frozen suddenly
All colors faded slowly
It's 23rd of October
It's midnight
Watch out!
You can make me truly happy
After the long lonely night
The long night of days, months and years before you arrived
...
Maybe just maybe
In silence we can hear us
In darkness even we can find us
Maybe
You'll write new poems ryhming with your cute smile
And from now on
I'll try my best to learn all the words ever spoken
 I have a feeling though
None of them will be able to describe your beauty

 

This time it's different

Go, you will anyways
I know you would all along
That's why i was afraid all the time
That's why i couldn't love you like you deserved
I knew, i knew it in my heart
Your kind of miracles only happen once
And
It has never been my turn to live in a heaven in this life
I gambled all, i lost it all, i'm done
Don't worry
This won't feel worse than Dubai
Everybody but me
Every step you took not towards to me
Every breath you took not with me
Not me
...
Strange
I was already lost
And
I was too late
And
I couldn't make myself forget
I wish...
I wish things were...
I wish i was...
...
This time, it's different though
It's forever
Believe it or not
Forever
...
Like a spiral never ending up a circle
Love is forever

Piece of Art

 All those cities seperated us
All those nights i knew it ended as it was
Waited you in that deep darkness
Finally i became the night itself
And
Not a ray of light even left
A feeling that my words needed to be heard
All the things making me crazy all along
A scream filling my heart
Echoing in my soul
And
All the aches in my body softened while you listen
Opened my wings, i was ready to fly away
Why i remembered again who you were, what you meant to me
Now, at your door again, waiting
Knowing this won't mean anything
And
I know what's holding you to open the door, fears of us?
I know what's pushing you towards me, do you believe in us?
With everything around you, spinning towards us?
With everybody around you, drifting apart?
And
Maybe just sometimes but i'm believing now
God gives us a last chance
The two of us?
Darkness with a bright star that promises a hidden galaxy with Suns all around?
Look at me now, like i look into your eyes
Don't you see, i'm lost without my shining star?
More importantly, do you see somebody within fires brighten your sky?

Three poems in one, Two souls in one or am i the man left behind?

We will never know where our road leads to
Till we walk to its end
We will never know how it feels like
Until we run to each other
Easier for me to stay behind
No risks, no glory and not even a chance of happiness
Is it harder for you
To let someone into your life
Or
Go to your bed lonely at night?

Thought already, deciding soon
Is it a sunset or a sunrise
Am i waiting for the night
Or
Maybe for the first light?

A life sentence is it?
Love died and every dishonest men won?
Love is lost and am i dead?
When all my sentences began with your name as usual
What's my final words will be?
At least i knew her and saw what dreams might be
Or
With her i witnessed all the hopes and all the dreams collided
With her every shattered piece of my heart united forever
...
Everything that mattered before, doesn't anymore
The door for regrets closed forever
Now becomes you
Future will be us